Nicer Than Nice

One of the side effects of doing more reviews & edits than I had previously is that I’m getting a better sense of what works (for me at least) and what doesn’t. I realize that, from time to time, these are all things I do as well. I imagine anyone that writes anything more than grocery lists fall victim to these pitfalls as well, but picking them out in the work of others is easier than it is in your own. The view from a remove is just clearer. There are a number of things that vex me when I find them. Misplaced modifiers for example are, to me, very jarring. Another thing I’m none too fond of is clunky, bland language. Descriptions like ‘she had a nice smile’ make me want to start yawning. Nice is just…well, nice. Not impactful or interesting or unusual, just…nice.

There are so many words out there that every year dictionaries have to move a handful of archaic ones out to make room for new ones. With that in mind, why do we insist on falling back on the same handful of descriptors time & again? I’m not saying there needs to be 80,000 $20 words in every book to see print, but surely there’s some sort of middle ground, right? Instead of that exemplar of ‘she had a nice smile’, why not dazzling? Why not luminescent? Why not beguiling, contagious or enticing? Instead of commenting on her nice smile, why not take it further? ‘…and when she smiled it was enough to make a man forget where he was going & plow right into a wall’ or ‘…all she had to do was flash that megawatt persuasion of glossy lips & that hint of an overbite that had enamored him & it was a done deal. The smile did all the convincing for her.’

Ok, perhaps not the most dazzling, luminescent examples ever committed to the page, or screen as it were, but you get the idea. So, next time you try reaching for a descriptor, make it a good one.

Requiem for Mary Sue

I promised you an actual topic & I've kept my word, dear reader. Today I'd like to take a moment to attempt to help stamp out a vile scourge that plagues the literary community from prize winning novels to the campiest fanfic; the Mary Sue.

I've mentioned my game on occassion & how it's where a lot of my writing ends up, but what I may not have mentioned is that I'm also a member of the admin team. One of my jobs as co-runner-of-the-realm is bio review. This is where potential characters are submitted to the admin & we critique them & help players hone them into chars that are (in theory at least) better, more streamline & more likely fit to our collective vibe. This is where today's was born, a marathon review session with one of my players. The Mary Sue, for those five of you out there unfamiliar with the term, is a char that is too perfect. Everything goes swimmingly for Mary Sue, her life is unencumbered by strife or conflict or flaws of any kind thus making her the postergirl of the Vanilla People. She's bland, she common & she just doesn't try very hard. Mary Sues tend to be inoffensive to the point of coma inducement. Everything they touch is golden. They're the perfectly coiffed neighbor with the perfectly behaved children, the one you just want to strangle so something would happen.

I'd like to extend the definition a bit further though, I think our Mary Sue has her fingers in more pies than just banality, I think she could well be cliche incarnate. Let me give you an example. Last night review session involved me giving notes to this player & attempting to help her make changes to her proposed bio, rather like a cooperative editing session. This particular bio needed many, many edits. It had everything, sentence fragments, dangling modifiers, confusing descriptions, over worked imagery...the works. But, at the heart of the problem, I think, was Mary Sue. This char wasn't perfect, far from it. She was, in fact, the anti-perfect. Street kid, attitude problem, drug culture, gang member, broken home...she had the lot. And that, I think was where little Mary Sue was hiding. The cliche! She used every cliche in the 'Troubled Teen' handbook all on this poor char. She had abandonment issues & was afraid she'd die alone & unloved, but she never listened to anyone & got distant to downright violent with anyone that would try. She was an "edgy" alternative kind of girl, with her dyed hair, multiple tattoos, leather jacket & fishnet stockings. And of course, what true reble is without that classic bit of exotica, that daring glimpse of lesbian chic that emblazens you as a true original; "I'm bi".

Oh yes, dear reader, this girl had it all. It was a 10+ page bio, so I'll spare you the extended highlights, but sufficed to say, she was a sight. So, with that in mind, let me place upon you this most humble of entritise, please, please make the people in your writing actual people, not caricatures! Give them depth! Give them humanity & quirks & spark! Remember that it's the foibles, not the dazzling talents that shine above all others that make someone worth reading! Good girls may go to Heaven while bad girls go everywhere, but chars that are so predictable, so much literary bromide aren't going anywhere but flat.

We can do better.